White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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