so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
