I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
