that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize