i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
