It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
