sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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