Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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