Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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