Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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