Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
