ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize