He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
