Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
