Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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