Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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