I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
