i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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