It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
