if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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