For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
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TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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