what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have fence marks all over my body
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
