I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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