she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
