found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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