Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am midnight drunk by noon
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
