dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I enjoy the company of your penis
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
