i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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