Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
