My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
