I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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