i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
