Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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