if you like me you must not know who I am
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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