so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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