i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
