I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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