I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
