Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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