It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
