Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
