I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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