if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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