I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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