There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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