why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize