i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
