we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
