do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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