Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
