I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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