So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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