maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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