i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
