can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
