So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
