I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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