Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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