Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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