Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
