I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize