My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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