my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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