We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
