I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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